Are you sapiosexual too ?

I am no Zombie, but let me confess – I Love Brains. I am a sapiosexual. I admit to being attracted to a cute face, or a sexy body, or a winning smile. But those things simply catch my eye. For someone to keep my attention requires the ability to uphold their side of a conversation.

I was talking to my friend today about the guy I’m into. And then realised, that it has almost been a trend now. I realised that I needed a man with good brains more than good looks.

It goes like this :

Me? I don’t care too much about the looks. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with. I decided this all means that I am sapiosexual. – Wolfieboy.

Sapiosexual is “a behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.” (By the way, the word sapiosexual is a neologism.)

Maybe this is why; I’ve had difficulties in my previous relationships, because eventually I’d find out that he was not as smart as I thought he was. I realised, while most girls my age want a man who is charming, well- spoken, romantic, good looking and then add “Well of course he must be smart” at the end, that is where I am different, otherwise the rest is pretty much the same. I am drawn in by the sight of intelligence, and then everything else follows. 

However, being sapiosexual can be challenging and lonely. Let me explain.  I’m out on a date.  The guy is talking and is obviously trying to engage me in some sort of (what he thinks is) “intellectual” and “funny” conversation as he knows that is what I am attracted to.  He’s totally over-doing it, and on top of that, he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.  My mind starts to wander.  I start thinking about what my friends must be up to or how the food or the table has been cooked or about another guy, and how turned on I am by his mind as well as his conversation.  Then I start thinking about how handsome he is and how much we laugh together, the jokes we crack on others and each other.  I am then interrupted by Mr. Non-Geeky.  Being the polite woman my mama raised me to be, I give him a bright smile and answer, “Oh, yes. I know i know. Listen, I have an important conference call I need to be on…” I set up my escape, and then I am out of there, free to whatsapp, call or text Mr. Smarty Pants who’s been running through my mind for the past half of an hour. Sigh

For the record, I am definitely attracted to charming, good looking, funny, caring and romantic guys. But an intelligent guy with any of the above I’m in-love with. So, I admit it…I am definitely a sapiosexual AND sapiosexy chick!

Some friends call me an intellectual snob, but I disagree. Before getting into a relationship, I need to be able to talk to him. I want nothing with a guy who is dumb. Find me a guy that can talk to me about his dreams and goals, politics, God, or about his favourite cricket or football team- even if they're not my favourite teams, find me a guy who talks to me about cars or bikes or technology though I know nothing about them, find me a guy that will beat me at coming up with the most funniest sarcastic comments (without being mean or hurtful) and I am happy.